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My Life, My Blog Posted by: Emerald at 06-05-2014 08:13 AM, Last Modified 08-25-2016 11:45 AM

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In my life I'v been through somethings that others havent been through...I'v been to 6 hospitals 5 of witch i went for cutting the 6th time was for agresstion..anyway this year iv had a hard time staying undercontrole but i did and this is just somethings iv struggled with this year first....a girl in my school has told me to go kill myself and well iv wanted to kill myself for god knows how long but im over that now..but that still brought back some memories that i dont wanna remeber....today is the last day of school for me and another girl i know she lied about me said that her and i got into a fight when it didnt happen and that i was going out with a 40-45 year old mexico man and if she said anything about him then id set him on her and make him hurt/ kill her (again a lie) i wanna fight her but i cant and shes not worth my while any way.. so on a brighter note im doing well making friends that i know i can trust in my life passing school but might have to do summer school hmmm....if theres anything you think i should add to this let me know and ill see what i can do.

well now school is out im in summer school for credit recovery (so not fun) anyway my summer has been good so far mom as been a real pain but then again we all are xD the tests on the credit recovery are starting to drive me crazy...i need a break from everything in my life but then again it wouldnt be any fun or i may just rip all my hairs out ahhh well this is it for now.

well another day of summer school T.T ya not fun but hey almost done with it yes grr how much more talking from this chick do i have to hear her voice is getting really on my nerves just a few more hours of hell T.T and of couse theres alot of talking about Eourpe and Russia how much more of this do i have to hear -.- after all this i may go for a jog lord knows i need it and to get out and strach my legs will feel good as well as a cold shower afterwards. here we go again with farming and she sounds like shes a robot on meds wait is that even possibal oh well dosent matter but i should go for a jog after all this and see how good iv gotten. so anyone wanna sit around for 5 hours? if so then please take my place in summer school xD im kidding but still it would be nice.

Its about time I updated this blog so my summer went well I met my bio daddy and I still get to see him ever saterday if he can make it he only leaves one county away from me so Im just like YES!!! haha but anyway the classes Im taking in my sophomore year in high school is Geomotry (HAVE to take) Drama (Chose to take it) Strength and Conditioning (HAVE to take) French (Chose to take) English 2 (HAVE to take) Biology (HAVE to take) and them Life Skills (Chose to take) so those are my classes in order and I like them but French is a pain in my butt not only is it hard but theres a girl in there who i dont like her and i used to be good friends but she got in with the popular crowed and well she just doesn't like me and I really dont like her eaither cause you see shes a loud mouth and a few weeks a go we had a sub and well the sub was trying to get our attintion so I screamed out "Hush up" and the girl I dont really like looks at me and says "How about you shut up" I looked at her and i was ready to hit her in the face but all i said was "The sub has been trying to get our attention for a freaking min and i dont feel like doing work beacuse you all wouldn't listen to her" so ya but one of my favorite teachers its his last year working there so I go see him every morning and talk with him so I call myself his "stalker" (im really not that would be just creepy) and tonight is the homecoming dance I so hope i can go tonight i plan on going with friends so ya haha if i go then we'll burn the school down lol so ill update this blog when I get the chance. any quastions just comment them and ill answer them in my next update.

Well heres an update on my life a kid who's in my 7th period kept on staring at me a few weeks ago so yeasterday he was looking at me again so I looked back at him and said "Dude take a picture it lasts longer" The kid replyed "I wasnt even looking at you bitch you fucking whore" now I was wearing a t-shirt that didnt show anything but my arms hands and fingers so I looked down at what I was wearing then looked back at him and said "well then my arms and hands must be very sexy to make me a whore" but before I said that I was ready to punch him in the fucking face cause I didnt want to take this shit any more hell I go to fucking Alternative school if people keep pissing me off anyway so today again he was looking at me so I said "Take a picture already" he replied "Shut up" I only smirked and looked at him and said "Make me" he just kept on walking and I called out to him "Thats what I thought" but today all and all it was good right now Im laying down in my pajamas relaxing and updating this thing -sighs- its better then nothing. Hmm so ill share some of my private thoughts on here in all honesty I just wanna make it to where I wasnt born....but I cant and if I died right now ALOT of my good friends would eaither kill themselves or shut everyone out....Im so happy I have friends like them to help support me but other days I wish I was aloner like how I used to be but then again I created my pack I went from a loner to a pack leader -runs a hand through my hair- I know people wish me dead but I keep pushing myself and my friends push me so in school I push myself to learn more to do better and in life when I die I wanna be remebered as the person who pushed themselves to finish strong in life I dont want anything else in life I just want to finish strong in the end when life is like "Hey its your time to go you did good now you can rest in peace" Im only 16 almost 17 and if i can survive this long in life even the strong become weak and the weak become strong so if your one of the people reading this who just wants to end it right now dont just keep going I promise it will be worth it finish strong with me. With me and my pack finish strong with us. Thats it for this update any questions comment them and Ill answer them in my next update.

after three months....my friend messaged me after him and i had a fight honestly i was shocked yet happy i missed him more then what i can tell anyone its just so good to hear from him but things cant be the same as they were before but we can work on getting it back to how it was im hoping we can and thats all there really is right now in my life is hope but still im greatful that him and inare talking again.

not sure what to say I just feel like my whole life is just sliping through my fingers I have BPD so that doesnt help me any and no one can get through to me....i swear either I try to hard or I dont try at all im sure this blog and my whole life is just boring you all hm...who knows maybe people do read this damn thing dont matter oh if you are reading this n your a dom im very much into BDSM so hit me up or read my profile meh guess its whatever. ask what you want in the comments or PM them to me and ill do a Q&A in my next update well bye for now.

If you ever want to watch an anime I strongly suggest Deadman Wonderland (you can watch it on youtube) anyway for everyone who is reading this I am 18 now I'll be 19 on November 17th so Im excited and Im in my last year of high school thank god oh and I also moved out of my mom and dad's place anything else just ask I cant really think right at this point in the day anyway and I wanna finish watching Deadman Wonderland.......