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| Life of a fox: The Sir Basil McMittensmueller story Posted by: Basil McMittensMueller at 12-03-2015 12:29 PM, Last Modified 12-03-2015 12:29 PM |
Prologue
As it is in any of the towns, villages, and shitholes in The Holy Empire of Vulpencia there lived an emissary to vanquish “enemies” of the State, to guard the town they are stationed in, and to protect the emperor or empress if the situation ever arose. Sir Vladimir Basil von McMittensmueller was the most infamous of these emissaries not for his insane devotion to Empress Helena and her recently deceased transvestite father Emperor George (It is widely rumored that he used to “service” George very frequently. It is also rumored that this might have caused Emperor George’s sudden heart failure), but for his insatiable appetite for male flesh and his dealings in prostitution, human trafficking, dragon trafficking, drug trafficking, war profiteering, torture, mass genocide, and baking. Despite all of the evil things he does he is widely loved by the empires denizens because of his devout devotion to the Crown and of course because of his delectable crumpets and scones which are great with tea at tea time. He resides in the small village of Hoppencott, a southern town on the shores of the Onager Sea which separates Vulpencia from the Kingdom of Draconia. Of course this was planned for easy access to oversee his human and dragon trafficking businesses due to the fact that Draconia is ruled and inhabited by dragons which use human slaves to build and expand their dominion and to keep their population well satisfied and not conspire against the King. The great Figellfluger rebellion of 1666 has taught the Kings of Draconia to do this because of the few liberties and protection from harm that they give their subjects.
Chapter 1: In the Beginning
It was a cold rainy morning in Hoppencott, Sir Vladimir was waiting for his latest shipment of dragon slaves to work on one of his many estates or to train to become his “business” associates so far none of the dragons he has met have had the stamina or mind power to fill this role. He needed a dragon with the perfect body and a very strong resilient soul but yet this dragon would have to be gentle as well. The cold wind was now blowing hard against Vladimir’s burnt orange fur, the smell of oranges, bacon, and fresh corpses wafting in from the ship and the Onager Sea. Vladimir had grown accustomed these smells, instead of them filling him with disgust and nausea these scents excite him with anticipation of the delicious specimens that are being unloaded from the ship. Once all the cargo taken off the ship and put into the storehouses across Vladimir’s Estate,
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