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| Azure Poetry Collection Posted by: Femmefoxboy at 03-22-2015 08:35 AM, Last Modified 04-12-2015 11:21 AM |
Broken
I recall a time long gone by where I'd laugh,
smile,
and cry.
Where I wasn't afraid to speak up even if I was wrong.
I had thought as long as I spoke from the heart that things would work out in the end.
But now it seems that's all fallen apart.
I'm wandering cold, lost,
and alone.
No one stands at my side,
no one will catch me when I fall.
I force myself to get back up and carry on,
knowing what I'm reaching for I will never grasp.
Then,
why do I continue to chase this shattered dream?
It is because it's all I know and all I have.
It's something I can't let go,
even though it lies broken upon the floor.
It is the only thing I have left worth reaching for.
It's a false hope,
an illusion in the dark,
a burst of light that will never spark.
It only pains me and drags me down as lightening arcs.
Yet though I know this,
I am blind to it.
I refuse it,
I refuse the path I've traveled thus far and I refuse this future where things always remain as they are.
An unshifting scene unfold before me,
I try to reach and hold the things I cannot find.
Red hot piercing pain surges through my every day and night,
yet I continue on my own unsteady might.
Looking for a place to stop and rest,
escaping from those troubles past,
knowing this breath may be my last.
Submerged
Here I stand once more, stuck by utter shock and befuddlement as the sharp stinging pain of the knife tears into my flesh.
It is sudden,
unexpected,
and a pain unlike any other.
Yet...
I knew.
From the start,
I knew this is how it would end.
A swift pain filled moment that will linger for a time yet unknown.
With the blade of one I held dear pierced through me,
and I struggling to hold on to my last breath.
I ignored the warnings,
I was a fool.
In my desperation for the company of another I pushed aside my own cautious feelings of an event I knew all too well.
I submerged them deep within my subconscious,
savoring the few moments of joy as I was being deceived.
As the pain begins to dull,
I welcome this feeling like an old friend whom I parted with long ago.
I am taken into the cold,
numbing embrace of bittersweet melancholy as my world slowly fades to black.
No regrets,
I've only my own foolish heart to blame.
The very same heart which is surging in throbbing pain as the knife is twisted.
I gasp for air,
then...
Nothing.
Silence.
I have became enveloped and lost in the darkness once more.
Forever wandering,
forever searching just for a single moment.
Longing for the company of another,
so the cycle may begin anew.
Horizons
Take my hands and let destiny be your guiding light,
even when your stars won't shine in the blackened sky...
The path weaving before me stretches ever forward into the endless horizon,
The world around me swiftly changes to reflect the feelings hidden deep within my heart.
It's not like I've nothing to continue fighting for,
It's just that the reasons that have brought me this far are suddenly false.
Take my hands,
look into my eyes,
tell me what you see.
When there's nothing more left worth saving is this really a fight that you can win?
Lost in the expansive doubt that slowly grows within,
Wandering who I am,
so tell me this can be,
is this the truth I'm searching for?
The only option left now is impossibility,
but when all the stars have faded from the night sky...
Take my hands and let destiny be your guiding light,
even when your stars won't shine in this blackened sky,
look ever onwards and, taking it with your hands,
write a story that can never end
Shrouded
The stars at night so bright and yet so beautiful,
the chill you feel in bitter night air.
Late at night my mind is racing endlessly,
the change that I can't comprehend.
It's like a dream where I slowly would die,
a heavy emptiness that fills in your heart and now I wonder if it all was a lie.
Oh, how that would seem so awfully nice.
I have a dream where no one remembers me,
so alone that mid-afternoon as I am feeling how your gaze sets on me and the passes through,
I'd watch it all with blue tears in my eyes.
Say this life lived only to be used,
I think I want to see how it ends. See how my will breaks and bends?
It's a sight to be taken in,
a swirling blur of pure bright light.
Say this life lived only to be used,
I think by ending it I could,
just for one single time,
the mistakes that I have made will be erased eternally.
Towards the sky the lusterous moon is casting light,
the sound that echoes in silent night air.
The sky that is so greatly vast and yet so empty is casting shadows here and there.
I feel the light that is fading from me,
a broken soul that lets out a suffering cry.
As if I'm gradually fading tonight,
the words I am saying fill this empty sky.
I have a dream where I never even exist,
so filled with warmth your smile,
as your gaze is passing by a lone figure that you could never recollect.
You'd never see the blue tears that I cried.
Say this life lived only to be used,
I think I'd like to see how it ends.
Emotions scattering feelings that you could feel that were never even really there.
Say this life lived only to be used,
I think by ending it I could,
just like the times back then,
I would be able to fly away then I'd leave this cell of mine. The second hand on the clock slowly ticks and there you stand,
right beside me.
I'm there but you can't see,
as if you never even knew me.
As I am crying out you hear it echo and shout.
I have gone away.
It rings in your ears but you only turn away.
I have gone away.
It rings in your ears but you only turn away.
Then I was dreaming that to people here I would just disappear,
late a night the size of my room and all the feelings kept inside,
took force and then clogged up my chest.
Finally my body ceased to breathe...
YAAAAAAAAAA!
Say this life lived only to be used,
I think with it's end,
I would be ever so free and all the problems that burdened me would faded away eternally.
By the time you wake I will be gone,
and I will have a much better feeling than I am feeling now, and with the life that was thrown away this world will be a better place.
It will surely be a much better place.
Scrambled thoughts
The words I can't speak,
the thoughts ringing through my mind on a daily basis...
Do they have purpose?
I'm unsure of the answer to this and yet...
Even though I may be too afraid to make them heard,
I should still write them down before they become twisted,
contorted,
and blur as if just a passing thought.
Am I still just a coward?
Is that why these simple phrases tie my tongue as I try to voice them?
Only revealing themselves within my mind,
yet given no sound,
no form,
no meaning.
Just what is it I am running from?
The answer lies within goals that have no real purpose intertwined with those that do.
It's both extremely simple yet complex.
It's something only I understand but cannot voice.
for fear of what would happen if understood by others.
Are these thoughts,
These words meant for someone else?
Even if it is so,
I will not move ahead even if I just could find the strength to. So I run,
I run until I am out of breath so that I can avoid having to explain why my feelings are shaking and ever shifting. Though I know I'm nothing new,
I want to become more.
Something that can be both strong and kind,
but I hesitate.
Because I am afraid,
I am afraid that I will lose myself once more.
So I hide them,
these jumbled,
faded words,
until I find the strength to proudly declare them,
regardless of everything but what comes ahead.
Shattered
Wandering on a lone path feeling the shattered aftermath of a once hopeful wish.
What did you reach and grab from the broken dreams of the travelers that fill this empty dish?
Now it has been made clear,
you and I are the same,
traveling opposite plains,
running from our fears.
Will you turn around and face the shadows that make your heart race?
There is only one exit to the labyrinth of names now forgotten In past.
If you want to survive,
submerge yourself in shadows of broken hearts.
Close your eyes,
you will thrive,
forget the ones you left behind.
Let it go,
join the flow,
lose yourself in the doubt of your own mind.
I remember you from a dream where I cannot breathe.
You took took me by the neck,
as I struggled,
you smiled at me.
And with these words you set me free:
It's useless to continue fighting for a goal you cannot see, give yourself into the darkness and be with me.
If you give up on the fight,
make despair your only might,
what is wrong you thought was right?
Follow me and we'll be side by side for eternity.
Now I sway like a Lilly caught in a violent breeze.
Torn and shredded,
all my strength drained away.
And my will begins to break,
the things I see,
cannot be,
hoping for light.
Thrown away,
cast aside,
ever reaching for something I cannot grasp.
Azure Surge
A dream,
a hope,
a pathetic word for a lost miscourse,
a lingering feeling dragging you down.
A stabbing pain you can feel deep within your chest,
a harsh reminder something is wrong.
Its like a last breath before you let go,
a simple chilling ice that you feel you can never let go.
And now you wonder if everything was a lie?
Oh,
don't you think it would have been awfully nice?
And still I travel on the beats of shuffling words,
the path ahead like melodic notes on a page,
with every step I take I'm getting closer toward the answer to this broken poetic joy,
sorrow,
and rage.
Hey you who can now hear my voice,
can you just tell me what is your choice?
As I fall right into you,
held even closer than before.
Hey you who I'm reaching to somehow,
can you turn and face me now?
Because the only way forward is lost on a silent pace,
forever following in your steps.
At night,
a light reaches out for you,
it seems to fade the closer you get.
A fleeting hope,
a constant effort in futility,
a lost cause which you will not give up.
It's like the wonder that catches your eye,
that lifting feeling that slowly will die.
And now you wish that the whole thing was a lie.
Oh how you know it would have been awfully nice.
And then this became my dream,
and as I opened my mouth to scream,
out came silence,
a muted voice,
almost becoming nothing at all.
Now I wonder just what is it I was trying to say as my world went and faded away?
Hey this poison coursing through my veins,
if I realized it at all maybe I could find at last peace for my restless soul.
Hey this poison coursing through my veins,
by taking over it could lead to a pure bright light,
wonderful,
beautiful,
almost indescribable.
Time passes by and morning breaks,
lost in my memories.
You're there but I can't see,
invisible to some degree.
As I call out you hear it echo and shout:
By my side to stay.
It's ringing in my head and won't ever go away.
By my side to stay.
It's ringing in my head and won't ever go away.
I have a dream where you rise up and slowly fade away.
I call out but even my words begin to sway.
Now lost in the silence,
it took force and I can feel it heavy on my chest.
I can't believe I was hardly even able to breath.
Hey these words that fill my every breath,
do you think without them I'd fall apart,
laying shattered on the floor just like my distorted soul? Taking your outstretched hand I rise to my feet,
and I find a much better feeling than I've had ever before.
I will surely find a much better place.
Paradoxical
Shoot straight for the heart!
Don't be afraid to let fly through paradoxes even with a shattered soul!
With a heavy heart, I
continue on this unmarked path ahead,
Searching for something that can't be found.
The sky ahead,
beckons me to follow through,
even though I can't find the strength to stand.
Looking at the vast expanse,
a glimpse of the universe within my eye,
The stars ever twinkling within my broken soul,
Somewhere out there I can find a way to make me whole! Shoot straight for the heart!
Don't be afraid to let fly through paradoxes even with a shattered soul!
Anomalies are just second guesses that have no purpose in this never ending road ahead of me!
Tower
Now there's now where left for me to hide from all the feelings I'd locked deep inside my own fleeting heart. Something's stirring now,
but perhaps it was just this way right from the start.
How could I see when there's no light?
How can I wake when lost in endless night?
Without wings,
I can't take flight.
And now I see in front of me,
all of these things that could not be.
Only one thing rises from my soul,
a part of me that is not whole.
Would I rather wait and be devoured?
There is no light upon this land.
A bright hero could take me by the hand,
and free me from this tower of my own design.
I sit awaiting rescue from all the things I'd rather not believe in anyway.
A gentle touch,
a warming voice,
sweeping my off my feet,
showing me it's alright that I can stay.
All of the days that will not come,
all of the promises faded into dust,
all of the pieces of my soul,
are locked away from me.
While I sit in agony,
in this tower of my own design.
With one word it'll all be yours,
just sign the contract with your name,
and scream and cry out in pain,
make me feel and open my eyes,
to all the tears in vain I've cried.
Sweep me off my feet and carry me,
far away from this destiny.
Wash agony's touch away,
embrace your final hour,
come and stay with me in this tower of my own design
Lost
Take just on more step,
and I'm failing to grasp the true meaning.
It's not like it's hard to see that I am nothing new and now held in the darkness I see no way back out.
Tell me,
can you even hear my heart beat anymore?
Is this the despair that I'm feeling?
Or is it just nothing at all?
I don't really know,
could you just leave and shut the door?
I'm in pain,
but it's alright,
I can take this on my own.
Face the change,
time goes by,
I've been lost in a lie.
I was waiting here for someone to just call my name!
But that time never came,
lost all reasons to carry on.
Just let go, it's not fair,
I'll just only drag you down.
It's much better that I drown on my own.
Even though illuminated by the moon's light,
I can't see ahead of me!
Don't you understand my plight?
It's not like it can be changed,
but still that won't stop things from fading.
Lost in a screaming vortex created by my own mind, something I'm not sure I even have this time.
Just let me ask:
What is it that I have to give up,
just to see a glimpse of that I lost?
The meaning is something I can't comprehend.
Just let me be,
turn away,
do what all before you have.
Shut the door,
turn the key,
lock away what couldn't be.
After all,
It wouldn't mean a thing either way.
Lost in grey,
sealed away,
what is it that you can't grasp?
Fading fast,
trapped in the past,
is this really how I end?
But even so I can't say I wasn't lost to begin with.
Is this a lapse of that thing called a "memory"?
Or is it the singe of a bitter retreat?
Either way,
It can't be fixed,
it's broken beyond all repair.
Take your time,
stand in line,
it's not like my soul is mine.
Leave you wake,
things you take,
there's not something that I can make.
Just please,
remember the me that I'm lost from.
Virus
System failure...
Preparing to reboot...
Error!
File system is corrupted...
Virus detected!
A painful feeling deep inside of me,
A dying memory of what couldn't be.
It didn't have to end like this it was your choice you see? Maybe if I erase you there won't be any doubt.
You're a virus killing me from the inside out.
Now running antivirus on my C drive...
Error!
System crashes into a downward dive.
I'm shutting down,
Swallowed by darkness' hive
Error system overload!
I don't know how much my chip can hold,
It feels as if my processors will explode,
Because of this virus' hold on me,
It will not let me be,
The light I do not see.
Serious
Far away,
a voice calls out to you.
From within,
light is blackened.
And now you can feel it.
Tensions build.
Fear talks hold.
You don't a stand a chance.
If you're not serious.
Blinded now,
by your own ambitions.
Falling down,
a spiraling stairway of despair.
And you no longer feel it.
Tensions build.
Fear talks hold.
You don't a stand a chance,
If you're not serious.
Danger
Look out now,
be on your guard,
danger seems to be lurking nearby...
Continuing down an unknown path,
facing unimaginable foes wherever I go,
Not knowing if this journey has an end,
focusing on the path ahead.
And what if I didn't see tomorrow?
Is it really that important for me to succeed on this quest?
The world depends on me,
but am I up to the test?
My heart beats fast,
I'm out of breath,
I want to run,
but shadows chase...
Looking for a light in darkness' depths,
facing danger at every turn, can't count on my own mind,
lost again and out of time.
And what is my enemy's true form?
Would I see it in my mirror?
I've come so far now,
I can't turn back,
after all there's nothing left for me.
You cannot begin to grasp the true form of his attack,
all before you is turned to black,
his power is truly terror.
Renewal
A clear blue sky on a bright day,
it's beautiful.
I never knew such warmth was a possibility.
I've been afraid,
lost in a lie for so long...
Maybe I'd forgotten who I am,
perhaps it's thing I knew.
But seeing this,
embrace in a new light,
looking ahead for some sign
I close my eyes but again I see a lovely place,
When my eyes meet yours,
And now,
I'm going to face the new day
with nothing but the strength you gave me.
Anything I can do,
as long as your hand's held in mine.
And you,
just with the sound of your voice
it feels as if I'm held so safely
It's everything I can do,
just to see your smile.
And when darkness turns day into night
I'll face it with your hand held tight.
Warmth
Far away in the distant horizon,
a lone star twinks brightly,
being close to you is surely my destiny.
Because we all know loneliness,
we try to nestle closely to another.
Your voice embraces me as the fear deep within my heart is cast away.
The beginning of this all was not simply a chance meeting,
we've already bonded closely to each other.
If all we've know before were hardships,
then let's replace them with fond memories.
I will hold tightly onto your hand,
no matter what may come ahead,
you'll never face it alone.
I'll always stand at your side.
The star of hope shines brightly in our eyes.
Hold on tightly to my hand,
so I can kept you held close.
Let my voice to be the warmth within your heart.
The same old days have been slowly drifting by,
but only now am I seeing that this is precisely what happiness is.
No matter when,
no matter where,
as long as I'm with you...
I will hold you tightly in my arms,
no matter what troubles we may face,
I will keep you held safe. I'll always be here for you.
The star of hope shines brightly in our eyes.
Keep me held close to you,
I want to always know your love.
Let my voice become the warmth within your heart....... |
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